Most of us have an inner critic—a voice that says, “You’ll never get it right,” or “You’re not good enough.” While negative self-talk is common, it doesn’t have to control your mood or your confidence. With consistent practice, you can retrain your inner voice to be calmer, kinder, and more supportive.

Here’s a step-by-step guide you can begin using today:

Step 1: Notice and Label the Thought
Catch the negative self-talk as it happens. Pause and mentally label it: “This is a critical thought.” Awareness is the first step in breaking automatic patterns.

Step 2: Pause and Breathe
Before reacting, take one slow breath. This gives your brain time to shift out of autopilot and into choice.

Step 3: Challenge the Critic
Ask yourself: “Is this thought a fact, or just a feeling?” “What evidence do I have that supports or disproves it?” Writing it down makes it easier to evaluate.

Step 4: Reframe with Compassion
Replace the critical thought with a kinder version. Instead of, “I always fail,” try: “This didn’t go as planned, but I’m learning.”

Step 5: Create a Daily Affirmation
Choose one short phrase to repeat daily, such as “I am capable,” or “I deserve kindness.” Keep it simple and believable—over time, repetition rewires your inner voice.

Step 6: Practice Speaking as a Friend
Imagine someone you care about said the same critical words to themselves. How would you respond to them? Try offering that same compassion to yourself.

Step 7: Track Your Progress
Keep a small journal of your self-talk wins. Each time you catch and reframe a thought, jot it down. This helps you see your growth over time.