When a thought feels true and urgent, it can push us into unhelpful choices. Cognitive defusion is a practical skill from acceptance and commitment therapy that helps you notice thoughts as events rather than commands. You are not arguing with your mind; you are changing your relationship to the story it tells.

Why it helps
When you fuse with a thought—They are judging me; I will fail—you behave as if it is a fact. Defusion adds a pause. In that pause you can choose a response that matches your values.

A five step drill you can run anywhere

Step 1: Label the event
Say quietly: I am having the thought that… then read the sentence exactly. This tiny prefix creates distance.

Step 2: Slow it down on purpose
Repeat the sentence at half speed. Notice how the urgency softens when the rhythm changes.

Step 3: Change the channel
Sing the sentence to a simple tune or say it in a cartoon voice. You are not mocking the content; you are showing your brain that tone changes impact how a thought feels.

Step 4: Put it on the page
Write the thought once. Under it, write a values cue: Given this thought, what action would I take if I wanted to act like the person I am trying to be. Keep it to one sentence.

Step 5: Take a twenty second values move
Do one tiny step aligned with your values: send a clarifying message; open the doc; step into the room. Action proves the thought is not the boss.

Add ons for tough days
Body first: two slow breaths with long exhales; feel your feet; then run steps 1–5.
Sticky themes: set a brief daily worry window; outside that time, defer the topic and return to the values move.
Perfectionism: deliberately use “good enough” language in step 4; ship a draft rather than chasing certainty.